kids church is not childcare… here's the difference
We've all heard it a thousand times. If you're already involved in kids ministry, you've probably said it a thousand times. Kids church is not childcare! So why does everyone call it childcare and how can you better explain it to people who don't yet understand? Or hey — maybe you've stumbled here wondering that yourself.
Because I have a background in both Psychology and Child Development, I've found myself comparing "the developments" over the years. And while the mistake is rarely made with technical language, I've come to believe this is the single most common error people make when they call kids church childcare. Can I tell you why?
Even a 7-year-old knows that babies crawl before they walk. They'll babble "mama" before speaking in full sentences, and they won't make best friends right away. More technically defined, this is the developmental scale for these tasks.
In their earliest months, babies learn by grasping and putting things in their mouths. Toward the end of their first year, they develop object permanence, the understanding that things still exist even when they can't be seen. (Hello, separation anxiety!) As they get a little older, imagination and language begin to grow. Memories form and symbolic thinking emerges. Then, toward the end of their time in kids church, logical reasoning starts to develop, though it is definitely still limited. (We all know how those camp points and bible bucks can encourage anything!)
Then there's motor development. The big muscles come first, taking kids from crawling to walking to running. Fine motor skills follow, giving them the ability to pinch, draw, and play games.
We all know that language development follows the same kind of upward scale right? Sounds first, then single words. They'll find those two-word phrases before graduating to full sentences. By the time they leave your ministry, they're talking in full paragraphs as fast as they can to tell you all about their weekend!
And then there's social-emotional development, which I think gets in the way of our thinking the very most. In their earliest years, kids cling to their caretakers. Toddlerhood brings a push for independence and side-by-side play. As they grow, they start to understand others' feelings and respond to them with big hugs and sweet cards. In preschool and kindergarten, rules become real and empathy begins to emerge. And in their final years of kids ministry, friendships start to matter, social lives take shape, and interpersonal relationships deepen.
Okay, so Mal... that was a lot of words about development.
True! But here's the thing. All of these developments in the natural are incredibly important. In fact, if you're a kids pastor who hasn't read a book or taken a course on child development, I'd encourage you to do so.
BUT! These aren't the whole point.
Because while each of these "other developments" follows a similar upward scale, spiritual development cannot be placed in the same box. And this is the error so many people are making.
Just because a baby can't walk yet doesn't mean his little spirit can't sense the Holy Spirit. And just because a child can't spell yet doesn't mean she can't hear God's voice clearly enough to draw a picture of what He's saying to her.
Kids church isn't a watered-down version of adult church... it's a developmentally different space.
In everyday life, we give kids different books becasue of their language and cogntiive development. We expect different relational connections based on their social and emotional development. Their motor skills determine what kinds of playgrounds are best for them.
But somewhere along the way, someone decided spiritual development must follow the same trajectory. There's a common misconception that spiritual development runs on the same slope or scale as emotional and physical development. But, it doesn't.
The Bible actually says...
In Matthew 11:25, Jesus says, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned and revealed them to little children."
And again in Matthew 18:3-4, it says "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
If as adults, Jesus is calling us to become childlike then spiritual development cannot possibly run the same trajectory as the rest.
If Jesus is telling us that He hides things from the wise and reveals them to children, then we must pay attention to what God is telling them, now. And we must teach them to hear His voice, now. And we absolutely must take seriously the call to train them up in the things of God.
What these verses tell me is that the things of God aren't reserved for adults, and in fact, the slope may initially be inverted. This is why, in our church and many others around the world, we say there is no junior Holy Spirit. Adults, by nature, don't always have the easiest time using their imaginations, but kids? They live half their lives in their mind's eye. They're masters at it.
Our goal as kids pastors isn't to throw the other developments out the window. We just don't let them become the deciding factor for whether a child can encounter Jesus.
Keep an eye out for the practical application of this in each age ministry group and sign up for the newsletter and never miss a post!